I don't know how people do it. I don't know how I do it. After four weeks of focusing on only my writing, my kids, my house, and my husband (and perhaps a little bit of crap TV), I'm absolutely overwhelmed by the idea of writing in the evening hours after everyone's gone to bed.
Somehow, this is exactly what I've done for the past six years. Um, go me, I
Later,
E.
AAAAAAHHHHHHH, relief.
For the first time ever, I'm publishing under a pseudonym. Which makes me worry, just a little bit, that it might not feel real when the book comes out. I'm really very happy with the story and the character, and incredibly proud of the book - for something written in three+ weeks, it's surprisingly very good!
The strangest thing about a pseudonym is that it's like there are now two of me out there, writing for different genres under different names. Does this mean I get two wardrobes and two muffins for breakfast, too? That would be nice.
So what's up next? Well, as of yesterday, I'm back into the middle bits of my next teen novel. I took a short break to write this "other me" book, but I've really missed the story I left a few weeks ago and I'm so thrilled to be back in it again. I left myself dangling on a cliffhanger, and I can't wait to see what happens next!
Later,
E.
JD Salinger made me want to be a reader.
JD Salinger, with his eccentric characters and frank observations on life, influenced American Literature and all of the stories I've written (and obviously the stories written by many of my peers). His Nine Stories collection has appeared in several of my books--I think it is the only book mentioned by name in any of my stories.
Thanks, Salinger, for your interesting quirks and simply beautiful stories. May you rest in peace and comfort and the privacy you so desire.
I was recently asked by a reader where I come up with all the names in my books. Naming characters is my favorite part of writing, because I get to steal little elements of people I didn't like in high school, junior high, my 20s, etc. and make them into meanies! Yes, I steal names. Now, this is not to say that I knew a Rebecca who was a b***h when I was in college (Rebecca is the name of the bratty chick in Dancing Queen). I actually really like the name Rebecca, it just so happens. The character name Rebecca was inspired by a totally unrelated person whose name is nothing like Rebecca, but she always made me think of the name Rebecca. Every time I used to see this person, I thought: "Rebecca!" (then did a little fist shaking action), but her name was actually ______. Make sense? Probably not.
But then, there are certain names I absolutely can't stand for no good reason at all, except that I knew someone once with that name and I never got along that well with them or they said something rude once or they hit on my friend in a really skeevy way. I'm not going to list these names--I'm not a fool--but I have recently seen these names as main characters of other books I'm reading or people mentioned in blogs or whatever, and I cringe every time. I can't even read the book or like the character because I just can't stand the name. I don't know why I have this violent reaction to certain names...my reaction is almost as violent as the one I have to something like fried mushrooms (which are so gross I can't even get into it).
What is it about names? And why can't I get over a bad association with a name and overcome it to re-associate said name with someone nice, funny, clever, sweet, whatever?
It seems really superficial, but I guess that's the beauty of writing my own books. I can name people whatever I want to name them and that's my prerogative! Oh, little thrills, you are mine!
But it's also a job.
And like any job, it's kinda hard to be motivated every second of every day. I was talking to another writer, Jordan Sonnenblick, a few months ago about his take on full-time writing. He said a few things that struck me as interesting, and they're all ringing true. For one, you don't become more productive on your manuscript just because you have more time. My word count is almost exactly the same at the end of every day than it was when I had only a few hours to chug it out vs. stringing the text out across the whole day. But the other thing he said is also very true: Your blood pressure and general quality of life is much improved. I've never had any issues with actual high blood pressure, but in a metaphorical sense, I am totally there. Life rocks right now. I'm even getting time to watch American Idol!
I have to admit that I'm already a little anxious and tense about only having 2 weeks left of this "time off", but know that I need to enjoy the second half of my break rather than think about After Break. I still have half a book to write in the next 2 weeks!
Later.
So....rewards. I have made a pact with myself that says every time I sell a book, I get myself some sort of prize. My first two books I bought bags (purses, technically, but I hate that word). My third and fourth - sold within days of each other - helped buy movers to move the fam across the country (yeah, not a sexy reward, but sometimes you gotta use a paycheck as a paycheck and U-Hauls blow) followed by a massage. My fifth (which comes out this summer) bought me a really cool, bright red cruiser bike with a wicker basket. This time? Noise-canceling headphones, which cracks me up. The reason this strikes me as funny is that I draw so much material from listening to people around me when I'm working at coffee shops or the library. So canceling out all those rich conversations seems foolish. But I've been coveting these for several years - even though they're really dorky-looking - and I just went for it. I'm hoping this will get me in a zone that will allow me to start and finish this book in exactly one month.
Any other tricks for staying on task? What would your reward be?
In other news, I have been granted the opportunity to take a full month off at my day job to finish writing a different book. In fairness, it's made possible by all my vacation time that I didn't get to take this year, but still....a whole month, in one big chunk! There could be no greater gift for an author with a day job. I don't have the financial freedom to be jobless, but am slowly going crazy from coming home from work to write. So for one month, I'll see what it's like for those lucky few who can make novel writing their only profession. And maybe, someday, I'll be one of them.
Could I be without a full-time, always-there job? I don't know. I love what I do "for a living", but I also love my sanity. I know there are people out there who do this for years - write before & after work; I've done it for five, and am slowly going crazy. I WANT to watch TV sometimes. I want to cook soup all night long and not worry that my novel is upstairs running amok while I goof off in the kitchen. I want to lay in bed with my three little kids while they fall asleep and NOT run through scenes in my mind, distracted. The big debate: Do you hold onto the financial security and comfort of everyday coworkers, or set off into the unknown abyss and hope like hell you can make it?
Jennifer Echols rocks. She read KISS IT when it wasn't even DONE yet, and is still being very nice about it. Oh, and her books? They are seriously the steamiest, funniest books ever. So thanks, Jenn. Your praise means a lot.
THE PROPOSAL.
And, even more daunting:
SUBMISSION.
I've been working on a big, new YA project proposal for almost six months now. It has taken me a little longer than it usually would to put a package together, since I've been conducting an agent hunt as part of the process, but I've put so much energy and time and ME into this project that it's taken over a big, fat chunk of my brain during every waking moment. I finally - FINALLY - am *this close* to finishing the proposal and a bunch of chapters, and - fingers crossed - my shiny new agent (who is suffering through my nerves and psychoses in a very noble fashion) is going to send it out this week.
I am literally crippled with nerves and what-ifs.
Partly because this is how I get at this stage, but mostly because this project is something really new for me and it all feels like crawling into a creepy cave without knowing what's inside. I know it's a good proposal, and I am feeling great about it - so why so scared? This is the first time I've had an agent to represent me (which is great, but just different), this is the first time I've written anything like this that I feel SO sure of before the book is even done, and this is the first time I've been THIS worked up about a book I'm writing.
I know I'm not unique in feeling this way - so why does it all feel so lonely?
That: is the life of an author.
First, I picked a very limited list of agents I was interested in approaching, based on feedback from my editors and author friends. I sent a query letter, a couple chapters from my Summer 2010 Simon Pulse novel (to give future-agent a feel for my new writing style!), and a proposal and sample chapters for a fun new project I've been working on. I got a great response (hurdle 1: success! I know this is the hardest part for most people, so I was feeling a big sense of triumph about this), and felt pretty great about the people I was talking to. But my gut was telling me nothing!! Nothing at all! That's totally not right, since I am usually a jump-to-conclusions immediately sort of gal.
Second, I was lucky enough to have a trip to New York in the middle of this (last week), at which point I had dinner with my editor, who sensed my frustration with my gut (which still refused to guide me toward a decision). So my editor said: "Please call just this one last agent before you make any decisions." My editor is smart, and so I took her advice and I emailed this guy that night with the same materials I had sent the others.
In the middle of all of this, I continued to write. I've been working on my chapters, fine-tuning the proposal, getting a bigger piece of the book ready for submission. So even though there was crying and stress and frustration, I was still working. Otherwise, I would have been a heap of mess.
So on Monday morning, I get an email from this one last guy saying he has read my stuff and can we talk? Yes! So we talked, I really loved our conversation, and I've heard great things about him all around. I just don't personally know any of his clients, so I have to take the "rumor has it" word for it and comments about him on his clients' blogs, etc. at face value, and assume he really is great. The night of our conversation, while I fussed and fretted and watched a little Biggest Loser, suddenly my gut popped into the picture and said "Hey! Here, dear, is your decision!"
Finally, Wednesday, I emailed the final agent and said I was ready to go. Of course, I somehow got spam-filtered out of his email inbox, so I sat worrying and wondering and certain that he'd changed his mind about me in the 24 hours since we'd spoken. But no! An email popped up later that night, and I actually really and truly have an agent. His name is Michael Bourret, and I will meet him in person on my birthday, October 21. In the meantime, I hope to get my proposal all polished up and fancy-like and maybe it will be in its future-publisher's hands by the time we get that birthday cocktail. Or maybe I have finally signed with an agent so someone will be there to tell me I'm a little crazy when I think things like that.
I can't wait to get it out there next June 15 (or somewhere in the June, July, August season....still floating...even though it's set at Christmas, which makes a summer pub a weensy bit off). AND I think the cover is going to freaking rock. The coolest designer ever has been working furiously on a cover since this book was first concepted, and she's very, very clever based on what I've seen so far. Hopefully I can post a visual soon!
Meanwhile, I'm jumping feet first into my crazy next book. I will spend this weekend trying to be funny - can you plan that? A weekend of funny?
I am starting to think I am wrong. Which is why I'm starting to look for possible representation from an agent. I say possible, because this is probably the scariest and most intimidating processes ever. I have been researching agencies and polling writer friends and looking at recent deals and trying to figure out who might be a good fit for me. I have a few people on the list right now (okay, three) that are both 1) recommended and 2) fit my style, and that is probably not enough.
Because finding an agent who both likes me and believes in me as a writer will be interesting/challenging/impossible(?). One of my illustrator friends (quoting some author they know) said, "Pick well, because getting out of a bad agent relationship is harder than getting out of a bad marriage...with kids involved." Well - that's not really reassuring. Even still, I'm beginning the quest to find an agent who will help me take my career in the next direction. Who knows what will happen...but I know waiting to hear back from agents will be about as scary and intimidating as my first book sale. It's like I'm starting all over again!
Amazingly, I have actually finished a first draft of my summer 2010 novel - written in less than four full months, and I'm not even all that exchausted. This book, of course, is currently titled: KISS IT. I say "currently", because now that the book has been written, I wonder if that's the right title after all. This stage of the process is always hard - full of self-doubt about the writing, the plot, the title, worry about what the cover will look like, how your editor will react, blabbity blah blah. And that's where I am right now: in the doubt and worry stage. I love the book - really, really love it. More than anything I've written before, I'm thrilled about the characters and the story and the "point" of this book. Ultimately, that's the most important thing. Because I think readers will like it, too.
But my editor is reading it, this very week in fact, and I will spend the next few days peeling my fingernails to small little stubs while I worry about what she'll think. Ugh.
Worry worry worry, fret fret fret. Fingers crossed that she'll love it.
- Mood:
restless
Today, I answer some questions about my writing process and my work-in-progress over at Nisha Sharma's website. Questions about what inspires ideas? How to mix a day job with writing books? Want to know more about what I'm writing now? Check it out....
The lovely Reviewer X has this cool thing going where she posts stories about how writers got their start - in their own words. A new story pops up every Tuesday, and they're all really, really different and incredibly interesting. Want to know how I went from reader to book editor to writer-without-an-agent? Check this out:
reviewerx.blogspot.com/2009/06/pub-story-e

